Mum’s the Word: 3 Playground Rules for Parents

Friday, May 15, 2015

Briauna Skye McKizzie, GoLocalPDX Contributor

I became a mother when I was twenty-two, new to Portland, and single. Most of my friends were still back in Texas, and while they were as supportive as they could be being thousands of miles away, I still felt pretty isolated and friendless. So I began the harrowing process of making new friends.

I attempted hanging out with other twenty-something year olds because I was pretty immature and believed that I could only have friends who were “my age.”

I went out a handful of times with some Toms wearing, coffee slamming, and Mumford and Sons lovin’ kids, and I tried to pretend that I was exactly the same as they were.

I tried until one night when I ventured out to go to a “Decentralized Dance Party.”

I looked around at the childless girls wearing crop tops and head banging to dub step.

I didn’t even have to look down at my own outfit to know that I was wearing a baggy t-shirt, jeans that had just now started fitting again, and a coat from the Goodwill that was NOT ironically purchased.

Feeling lonelier than ever, I grabbed a hold of my swelling, and now dripping boobs and wandered back to my car to drive home and nurse my baby before I either died or exploded.

Luckily, I’m pretty sure all those negative feelings I felt had more to do with postpartum depression. Not to mention, I was a 22-year-old female so on a scale of one to “Twilight” my angst level was constantly at “Twilight".

It took me a while, but four years later, I’m finding myself in possession of a pretty good set of new friends. They range in age from 18 to upper sixties, and I have a lot of fun with each and every one of them.

You might not keep all the same friends that you had before you became a parent, but making new friends is one of the most rewarding experiences. However, it’s also difficult and can take a while before you truly start feeling at home on the parenting playground. So here are three rules to remember when making friends as an adult.

SEE SLIDESHOW BELOW.

Related Slideshow: Mum’s the Word: 3 Playground Rules for Parents

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1. Say “Yes” More.

As a devout and proud introvert, my idea of a “wild” night is often a night spent completely alone with a good book, and binge watching the latest, hit British TV show on Netflix. If I get really crazy, I may even go to the library on a Tuesday night. However, when you’re a parent trying to make new friends, it’s important to say “yes” to things you may not usually say “yes” to. So try out the new Chinese restaurant with your neighbors, even though you hate Chinese Food. Or go ahead and befriend the person sitting next to you on the max even if they’re reading a book called, “World Power Made Easy.”

You often make friends the minute you decide to step out of your comfort zone.

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2.Bring Your Kids.

If someone really wants to get to know you, they won’t mind if occasionally you bring your kids along for the ride. However, if they do mind, then they probably aren’t the right person for you to be hanging out with often.

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3.Make Unlikely Friends.

When we’re young, we often have a strange set of requirements that our friends have to have before they can become our friends. Often, they need to be our age and like all the same things.

However, after so many nights of being an adult talking to a 2 year old and watching The Incredibles, you realize that you have the capacity to relate to anyone regardless of their age.

So open up your mind and befriend people who don’t necessarily look like who you’d have talked to when you were a freshman still playing the “cup game” in college.

Your new friends will give you a fresh perspective on life and teach you lessons about yourself that you may not have known previously.