Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: How to Make Conversation
Wednesday, June 01, 2016
Q. How can I make myself a more interesting conversationalist? During this particular pre-election period it is getting harder and harder to express my opinions. It's close to impossible to find common ground with most of my coworkers and fellow golfers. Essentially, they act as though it is open season on expressing their honest opinion with favored regaling stories based -- and debasing my candidate -- on hearsay, knowing full well who I am campaigning for and against.
Conversations are a tug of war. Don't get me wrong, these are people with whom I usually get along. However, the election is all anyone can talk about. Unbelievably, its only June and I have to deal with these people for the next five months or more. Too often I find I've been bated into a debate. Anonymous, Watch Hill, RI
A. What makes you think you, Mr. Anonymous, are of interest to anyone? Why are you stuck in a workplace and social sphere where your political beliefs aren't, at the very least, respected? Let alone recognized? What are you passionate about? Do you explore new places, foods, ideas, art, music, cultures? Take charge of the conversation, if you don't like the debate. Change the dialogue. Segue the questioning into a different topic that rouses your passion.
- Your adversaries don't seem to be shy about riding on a band wagon. Don't you have a quirk or two of your own you could bring up? "Are they ever going to fix the erosion to the fifth hole on your local golf course?"
More than anything, leave your ego out of the conversation and focus on being curious about their work, family, interests (aside from politics), what they're reading now, which sports team they're rooting for. What are their likes and dislikes?
Should worse really come to worst, simply say, "Let's talk about something else." Or, "Do you mind if we change the topic?"
Being interesting can be about introducing someone to new things and people. Bring another person into the conversation by introducing them, "Joe, you know Alex Brown, don't you? Alex, come over here and meet Joe Baker. He's the new CEO over at _____ ."
Interesting people are memorably charismatic.
- They are good storytellers and listeners because they lead lives filled with spontaneous curiosity.
- Being curious makes you naturally happy and easier to be with.
Find your allure and you'll gain new respect from your networks of coworkers, clients, friends, and golfing partners.
- At the end of the day, it's about more than having interests, it's about truly caring about them.
- Be empathetic by being a good listener.
Didi Lorillard researches etiquette at Newport Manners.
Related Articles
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Solving Family Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Social Media Addiction + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Social Faux Pas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: STD Sharing Information
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Talking to The Technology
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Blue Tuxedo + Other Updates
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Thanksgiving Fêtes
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Simple Restaurant Guidelines + Wedding Updates
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Seven Spring Break Tips
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Relationship Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Rekindling Romance + Wedding Etiquette Update
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Restaurant Guidelines
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Returning to Work Job Interview
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Secrets for A Successful Thanksgiving
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Reviving the Fur Coat
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Death of Table Manners
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Emotional Affair + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Winter Entertaining + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Why Women Don’t Ask for Help + Engagement Party Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Your Holiday Party
- Didi’s Manners + Etiquette: How to Get People Off Your Back
- Didi’s Manners: Wedding Etiquette Update 2016
- Didi’s Manners: Is Wedding Etiquette Crumbling?
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: What to Say and Not Say with Friends
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: What to Say & Not Say to Your Valentine
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Texter—My Boyfriend the Media Addict
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Importance of The Handwritten Note
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Tips for Hiring A Nanny
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Tips for Remembering Names, Faces & More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Updated Etiquette for Memorials + Weddings
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Update Your Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Rainbow Facebook Profile + Ghosting + Funerals
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Planning A Family Wedding + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Coworker Wedding Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Conversation Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Breaking Holiday Traditions
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Dating Etiquette Update & Modern Weddings
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Dating Etiquette Updated + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Dutch Treat Family Dinners + Wedding Updates
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Death of the Gentleman
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Best Guest Ever + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Best and Worse Manners from 2014
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Keeping Your Name + Baby Shower Update
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: How Not To Write An Annoying Email
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Successful Simple Icebreakers
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: 36 Ways to Know Your Lover
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Be the Best Guest & More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Allergen + Cellphone-Free Thanksgiving
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Easter with Family & Friends
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Email Etiquette Update
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Is Tattle Telling A Sin? + Relationship Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: How To Be The Best Guest
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Last Minute Gifts & More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Modern Wedding & Funeral Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Open Marriage Etiquette + Other Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Online Dating Scams + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Hot and Cold Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Host-Guest Etiquette
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Family Relationships
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Family Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Forget Office Party Guidelines
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Gender-Neutral Bathrooms + Friendship
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Holiday Tipping + Entertaining
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Holiday Dilemmas
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquete: Pre-Wedding Etiquette Updates + Kissiquette
Follow us on Pinterest Google + Facebook Twitter See It Read It