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slides: Mum’s the Word: Parenting When Things Go Wrong

Friday, September 04, 2015

 

Your throat tickles, your head throbs, and with every breath that you manage to wheeze, you wonder if you might literally collapse onto the floor.

Although this might sound like the description of a really unpleasant illness, I’m actually describing how it feels when you’re parenting during a time when everything seems to be going absolutely wrong. 

From serious things like an unexpected death to more trivial things like dropping your IPhone in a public toilet, “bad” things happen all the time. 

On the other hand, sometimes the things going wrong aren’t so bad, and they may even appear comical despite their unpleasantness.  

For instance, a couple weeks ago my dog had diarrhea. After cleaning up her fourth or fifth mess, I was finally on my way back to the bathroom to get ready for work.  

Yet as soon as I had gotten my shower playlist prepared, I heard my daughter shouting, “Ugh! Mom! I need you.”

“Wait.” I shouted back, annoyed. 

Unable to wait, though, her cries grew more and more frantic, and so I pressed the “pause” button on my Spotify app. I suppose I should not have been surprised that another unpleasant thing was going to happen that morning.  Even still, I walked toward the cries of my daughter as a doe-eyed dreamer who hoped her daughter wept only because she loved her mother so much. Hey, a lady can dream, can't she?

To my horror, I walked into the living room to find a pile of steaming, smelly poop that came not from the dog, but rather from my human, raised in 21st century America, daughter. 

“I don’t know how it happened.” She whined.

I had a pretty guess.

Feeling overwhelmed, I quickly grabbed cleaning supplies and tried not to think about the fact that I’d been up since 5:30am and still had a full day of work ahead. 

I’m pretty sure most parents have similar stories to share. 

The sh*t hits the fan for everyone, and the best we can do sometimes is hope that it just happens metaphorically.

When you’re a parent, these situations that everyone experiences can easily seem unbearable, and it becomes difficult to be a good parent during a stressful and painful time. 

With that in mind, here are a few simple tips for how to parent when everything is going wrong. 

See Slideshow Below. 

 

Related Slideshow: Mum’s the Word: Parenting When Things Go Wrong

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1. Remember.

Take comfort in the fact that it’s been done before. More than likely, your parents went through similar tough situations during their parenthood, and both you and they turned out…all right. 

So if you’re feeling discouraged or alone, it may be time to pick up the phone and have a good talk with your parent or whoever took care of you and tell your stories to an empathetic soul who knows, “this too shall pass.”

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2. Meditate. 

It doesn’t really matter if you are a spiritual person or not, but taking time to just be quiet or “meditate” will help reduce some of the stress you’re feeling in the moment. Taking time to breath can also decrease the likelihood that you will act out in anger or frustration toward a loved one or to yourself. 

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3. Pay attention.

Pay close attention to your little ones. In some cases, they are definitely the ones causing your anxiety or frustrations.  Many times, though, they are “acting out” because they either sense something is wrong or because they just need affection. This doesn’t mean you condone the behavior, but you can view this behavior as an indicator that something is wrong. 

No matter how annoying or possessed they might seem sometimes, your children deserve your time, your focus, and your patience. Remember what’s important.

 
 

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