Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Winter Entertaining + More
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Breaking a Smoking Rule
Our daughter is having her 21st birthday party in our home with 21+ of her closest friends. She says it is too cold to make her friends go outside to smoke and wants us to allow them to smoke inside our house for that one night. Her prediction is they will smoke outside whether we like it or not. We feel hypocritical allowing them to smoke in our house when years ago we banned cigarette smoking. What would be a good solution?
Make a compromise with your daughter after reiterating your disapproval of tobacco. Tell her that her friends can vape on their electronic cigarettes. That way no matter what they're smoking, it won't stink up your house, because vaping on an e-cigarette emits vapor and not smoke. No odor. They can vape in a movie theatre. So. Why not in your house? Those who insist on smoking tobacco cigarettes can smoke out in the cold.
Taking Off A Wedding Band
My husband died two years ago and some of my friends and family are trying to persuade me to stop wearing my wedding rings. I'm a 52-year-old working mother. What is the etiquette as to when it is proper not to wear my rings?
~A.B., Houston, TX
Try not wearing your rings for short periods of time. Then longer. When you go to work, shopping, or meeting friends, see how you feel. In your own way and in your own time, you'll do what is the most comfortable. Obviously, for a while you'll miss the weight on your wedding finger. Try wearing your engagement ring on your right hand and storing your wedding band in a safe place nearby, so you have it on hand.
Talking about STDs
How do I talk to my girlfriend about the fact that I may have given her a STD? My ex-girlfriend (now married) recently informed me that her husband's ex-wife just told him she has genital herpes. Both my girlfriend and I had breakup sex with our exes after we both started new relationships. I had been planing on asking my girlfriend to marry me on Valentine's Day, but I can't until I tell her I just tested positive.
It was smart of you to get tested as soon as you found out that your former girlfriend may have given you an STD. Please, don't propose to your new girlfriend until you tell her your test results. Be sure to go online to get all the facts about genital herpes to share with her, and use protection every time. It is what it is. Work it out. If she loves you even though you have a yet incurable STD, make sure she understands the consequences.
Asking Guests to Leave Shoes/Boots at the Door
Last month we had our floors refinished and our rugs cleaned. Now, we're having a Valentine's Day cocktail party to celebrate our five-year anniversary and sending invitations, but we want to know if it is OK to ask guests to leave their shoes and boots at the door? How do we put this on the evite?
At the bottom of your evite under the RSVP line, add a sentence such as this: No presents, only your presence when you leave your shoes at the door and use our flip-flops. You can give away the flip-flops as a party favor or keep them for another event. There are those who will bring their own alternative or who are simply happy to pad around in stocking feet.
Do you have a dilemma about love, family and life in general for Didi? Go ahead and "Ask Didi." If your Question is used, we can withhold your name and/or location.
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Be the Best Guest & More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Best and Worse Manners from 2014
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Breaking Holiday Traditions
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Holiday Tipping + Entertaining
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Last Minute Gifts & More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Social Media Addiction + More
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: Thanksgiving Fêtes
- Didi’s Manners & Etiquette: The Emotional Affair + More