slides: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Kirsten Nicolaisen, GoLocalPDX Content Manager

Portlanders are a breed of their own. We're kale-munching, mountain-biking, beer-brewing hipsters and coffee snobs.

Even in a culture as unique and quirky as ours, there are certain things that people just don't do.

There are things that have never been said.

See Slides Below: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland

Conan O'Brien's reoccurring bit called "Things That Have Never, Ever Been Said," is the perfect example of what I'm talking about. Here are a few of his hilarious lines:

"I watched dateline last night and the murderer was not the husband."

"We met on Tinder, and now we're engaged!"

"Could you pass along your quinoa recipe" - This one is something Portlanders actually say frequently.

GoLocalPDX took a page from Conan's book and came up with our own sarcastic one-liners about things people in Portland would just never say.

Here are 10 things that have never been said in Portland:

Related Slideshow: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland

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"Oh look, the MAX is on time."

HA!

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"They don't serve beer here."

Begin freak out.

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"Starbucks has the best coffee."

Starbucks is way too basic for Portlanders. We're more likely to be found in that coffee shop in a corner under the bridge that nobody knows about or has ever even heard of. That's what makes their coffee so good.