Welcome! Login | Register
 

Ways To Build Muscle Naturally—Ways To Build Muscle Naturally

The Portland Trail Blazers Season Is Over – Now What?—The Portland Trail Blazers Season Is Over –…

Weiss: In 2050, Where Have All the Family Caregivers Gone?—Weiss: In 2050, Where Have All the Family…

Our First Ladies are a National Treasure – Sunday Political Brunch—April 22, 2018—Our First Ladies are a National Treasure –…

How Will They Do This Year? – Seattle Seahawks’ Schedule Prediction—How Will They Do This Year? – Seattle…

Tips On Becoming Fully Hydrated—Tips On Becoming Fully Hydrated

“Mission Accomplished” in Syria - Not so Fast—"Mission Accomplished" in Syria - Not so Fast

Weiss: House Fails to Pass GOP’s Balanced Budget Amendment—Weiss: House Fails to Pass GOP’s Balanced Budget…

On the Road Again on the Political Trail - The Sunday Political Brunch, April 15—On the Road Again on the Political Trail…

Second Round Possible Achilles Heel For The Portland Winterhawks—Second Round Possible Achilles Heel For The Portland…

 
 

slides: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland

Saturday, January 17, 2015

 

Portlanders are a breed of their own. We're kale-munching, mountain-biking, beer-brewing hipsters and coffee snobs. 

Even in a culture as unique and quirky as ours, there are certain things that people just don't do.

There are things that have never been said. 

See Slides Below: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland 

Conan O'Brien's reoccurring bit called "Things That Have Never, Ever Been Said," is the perfect example of what I'm talking about. Here are a few of his hilarious lines:

"I watched dateline last night and the murderer was not the husband."

"We met on Tinder, and now we're engaged!"

"Could you pass along your quinoa recipe" - This one is something Portlanders actually say frequently. 

GoLocalPDX took a page from Conan's book and came up with our own sarcastic one-liners about things people in Portland would just never say. 

Here are 10 things that have never been said in Portland:

 

 

Related Slideshow: 10 Things That Have Never Been Said in Portland

Prev Next

"Oh look, the MAX is on time."

HA! 

Prev Next

"They don't serve beer here."

Begin freak out. 

Prev Next

"Starbucks has the best coffee."

Starbucks is way too basic for Portlanders. We're more likely to be found in that coffee shop in a corner under the bridge that nobody knows about or has ever even heard of. That's what makes their coffee so good.  

Prev Next

"There's never a line at VooDoo Donuts."

Or Salt & Straw. 

Prev Next

"The Portland street fee is a good idea."

Prev Next

"I shop at Walmart"

Even if we wanted to, they're few and far between in this city.

There never has been and probably never will be a Walmart downtown. 

Prev Next

"I'm a proud hipster."

There are tons of hipsters in Portland, but they're all too hipster to admit it. 

Prev Next

"No."

Portlanders don't like to say no. We just say yes and then don't do or show up to whatever it is we agreed to. 

Prev Next

"I love people from California."

More like go back to California and take your umbrellas with you!

Prev Next

"Byron Beck wasn't at that party."

Let's be real, if there's a party, gala, festival, awards ceremony - you name it - in Portland, Byron Beck will be there.

Read his Party Reports every week on GoLocalPDX. 

Photo: Byron Beck with Portland Trail Blazers' Robin Lopez at the MayDay App release party. 

 
 

Enjoy this post? Share it with others.

 
Delivered Free Every
Day to Your Inbox