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The Total Self – Mentality – How To Improve Your Mental Toughness

Sunday, July 29, 2018


NOTE: This article (and this site) does not provide a substitute for sound medical advice. Please contact your primary care provider for all things health/wellness related.

For those of you who follow this site (and read any of my “The Total Self” entries), you do know I am always harping on foundational elements to building a successful life, not just looking good in your favorite pair of jeans. In this article, I am talking about mentality. As in what drives you, what is your focus? If your life was a song, what would be the tune? What would be the melody? What would be the overall flavor, message and connotation(s) that this song would give the people who listen to it? Having a mentality for success is very simple. Implementing, maintaining and parlaying that into success is the hard part. So let’s start with the basics. What is important to you? What gets you excited? What do you fantasize about doing in life? No matter what it is, having a mentality that is geared towards success will help you get there. Every house has a firm, secure foundation. So must your ‘mentality house” have a sound, secure foundation.

A few years ago, I wrote an article about a “Loser Mentality”. As I see it, a Loser Mentality (some call it a “scarcity mentality”) is all about minimizing loss (any kind of loss, in any given situation). I see this kind of thinking as not only self-defeating, but it is overall a retardant. Fear is the linchpin that holds this together. I dare say that having this mentality is usually passed down from parents down to children- maybe “there’s a there”- a bad experience, a period of time where you had to adopt some kind of thought process that got you through a tough time, but it’s no longer helping or working. You have to adapt. There must be adaptation, growth and evolution. This evolution must take place within the mind before it ever gets out into the world. The mind is very powerful- we often set the table for our lives with the very thoughts we use on ourselves.  We oftentimes allow the negative to infiltrate our minds, our cultures and our habits and we will focus and dwell on these things instead of the continual growth and development we all crave and claim we want. How to get there is the question… here’s how:

  • Realize that great things are not built in a day. Neither are good habits and great lives. We all know the old saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and it’s true. Patience is crucial.
  • Stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, we are our toughest critic. I challenge all of you reading (especially those who are looming to change your lives) to ease up on being self-effacing and being so hard on yourself. Relax, give yourself credit for things. You may be underrated, but don’t underrate yourself.
  • Continue to “grind”. Back in the day (my days, the 90s), we had a term for those who continually worked (oftentimes past the point of exhaustion) on their passions, their minds, work ethic, etc. The same holds true in the context of what I’m talking about here with developing a winning mentality, which will lead to a winning attitude that will not only shine through the darkness, but will shine through your body, illuminating the world around you.
  • Be selfish. Yes, it’s okay to be selfish in this regard. Besides, who is going to take care of you if you don’t? Look at it this way- if you’re not being yourself, then what are you doing here?


All in all, it is up to you how your life will turn out. Not a politician, not an athlete, any movements, etc. Having a winning mentality will rule out any nonsense that will keep you from experiencing the great things that life has to offer.

In summation, be yourself. Trust yourself. LOVE YOURSELF. Love yourself enough to be honest with yourself and your loved ones and friends. Be flexible enough to be able to navigate this life. Life in 2018 is not easy. Life in this world is oftentimes tricky and you will need mental toughness. Mental toughness is one of the basics that will get you through in life. THE BASICS ALWAYS WIN.


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