Ask a Bartender: What Should I Order?
Friday, January 23, 2015
The customer is always right is a mantra that we seldom hear anymore and for good reason. In a discussion between two people, the person with the most experience on the subject is usually right, and that person is usually the person that works there.
See Slides Below: A Bar in Every Quadrant: 5 Bars to Visit this Week
That being said, there is no right way to act in a bar: Only wrong ways. A good bartender likes his or her job and a good bartender therefore likes people or at least has a sardonic sense of humor.
Come in and enjoy yourself. That is the only rule. Here are some suggestions of etiquette as well as tidbits of knowledge to help you avoid any embarrassment and confusion. Bottoms up.
This Week’s Top Question: What should I order?
Answer: This is a reasonable, if horribly phrased question. Especially when I’m busy, it is important that you be concise as I don’t have the time or energy to address your existential dilemmas.
Of course, you are allowed and encouraged to solicit advice. Think about what cocktails you like and why you like them. Are they mostly made with gin? Are they sweet? Are they tart?
A proper bartender will eventually get this information out of you in a timely manner with minimal strife. The bartender knows he is the one getting paid. But it’s best to be preemptive by asking, for example: “I enjoy tart gin drinks. What should I order?”
The bartender will appreciate your consideration of their time and reciprocate.
This Week’s Top 3 Drink Picks
Gin Gimlet
With Inherent Vice rekindling Portlanders’ joy of noir, there is no better time to enjoy Philip Marlowe’s favorite drink, the gin gimlet. It’s a classic and pure cocktail and hard to mess up. Nowadays, people prefer fresh squeezed limes. Back in the day, bartenders made them with Rose’s lime juice. Some people prefer this method, namely people that were running around with fedoras the same time Phillip Marlowe was.
But if Altman can make a twist on Marlowe’s LA, and if Paul Thomas Anderson can borrow from Altman, surely we can make a twist on this drink. Authenticity and quality are not always mutually exclusive, but when they are, opt for quality.
Mezcal
The scotch of tequilas, Mezcal is so new on Portland’s map that my computer thinks I spelled it wrong. The reason for this is perhaps that the cheaper stuff can taste like hairspray and that is usually what is available in the States.
Portland bars, however, are quickly picking up to the trend and expanding their selections accordingly. If you need a cocktail to approach this spirit, try an Extranjero:
Build in pint with ice:
2 oz Mezcal,
Equal parts grapefruit juice, and ginger beer. Lime garnish.
Vesper
James Bond’s favorite martini, the vesper is strictly for those who like to taste their booze. Shake this drink if you’re a Sean Connery fan, or if you’re more of a modern man and “don’t give a damn”, do whatever you want. I personally prefer mine stirred because I love gin and don’t want to bruise it.
In shaker:
3 oz gin,
1 oz vodka,
.5 oz Lillet Blanc vermouth.
If you have scotch on hand, you may as well spritz a little in the shell (martini glass) beforehand.
Related Slideshow: A Bar in every Quadrant: Top 5 Bars to Visit This Week
For this week, I chose cheaper bars. Christmas has come and gone and this is the time to sit on your duckits until tax returns come. So, in February we’ll roll out the fancy bars, but this week’s theme is frugality.
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